


nothing's ever shaken me quite like you

by daydreamblvr6



Series: blvr's self-indulgent malec fest [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M, excessive tenderness and great communication, these two talking out their issues like the kick ass grown ups they are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 16:12:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9828485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamblvr6/pseuds/daydreamblvr6
Summary: a might-have-been after the last malec scene in 2x07. begins right before the last kiss as alec is pushing magnus into the bedroom.they pass through the door, magnus only still on his feet because of alec's unwavering hold. alec pulls back and magnus follows, eyes closed, lips parted, his weight against alec's fists. alec's grip loosens and magnus opens his eyes, swaying until he has his own balance again. grinning, alec pulls his shirt over his head, magnus' hands falling to the waist of his jeans.magnus curses under his breath, in the tongue of his mother, when alec is left barechested inches away.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i almost didn't get this out before canon made it irrelevant omg. anyway, this is just me continuing on in my self-indulgent malec habits. also i hope we're all cool with no capital letters bc honestly i can't handle them.

magnus stares at alec as alec walks them into his bedroom, the desire a clawing chasm around him. it reaches out to him from alec's eyes. it is warm and devastating and the only feeling he wants to have ever again. he can see the great potential it has to ruin him; he can see the great potential it has to makehim – and in so doing, ruin him.

 _this is terrifying,_ he thinks, wondering if alec can tell that he's afraid. _both this itself and the way i want it. but i want it._

so when alec kisses him again, he throws himself into the chasm, fear and all. he is willing to let the fear cease to matter for this.

they pass through the door, magnus only still on his feet because of alec's unwavering hold. alec pulls back and magnus follows, eyes closed, lips parted, his weight against alec's fists. alec's grip loosens and magnus opens his eyes, swaying until he has his own balance again. grinning, alec pulls his shirt over his head, magnus' hands falling to the waist of his jeans.

magnus curses under his breath, in the tongue of his mother, when alec is left barechested inches away.

“what?” alec murmurs. his voice is feverish but soft, a gentle hum. magnus could swear he's gone incorporeal.

“nothing,” magnus trills, running one longing hand lightly up alec's side, feeling faint. “i just need to. sit down? lie down? lie down."

alec smiles and magnus feels the chasm of desire swallow him further. “we can make that happen,” he promises and starts pushing magnus towards the bed again, kissing him breathless until they tumble down onto the mattress, tangled and wild. magnus brings his hands to alec's face and he wants to smile at him more than anything but he can't, he can't, the emotion is too big. alec doesn't seem to mind, pressing in again for more kisses, each sloppier than the last, his hands pressing into the sides of magnus' chest, burning even through the fabric of his shirt, which is hitching up and allowing the skin of their stomachs to meet in a tender too much that is searing all memory of anything else from magnus' consciousness.

alec's hands begin to rove beneath magnus' shirt and his mouth trips along magnus' jawline and magnus has not cried while making love in at least five centuries, but he thinks he might tonight at the eager sincerity of alec's fumbling touches and inelegant kisses.

with a parting lick at the tendon standing out along magnus' neck, alec pulls back to straddle magnus' hips and magnus, unable to help himself, reaches a hand after him, but it trembles and alec sees. he takes that hand in his gently, entwining their fingers to steady magnus, and looks magnus over, panting, brow furrowed with concern, knees still on either side of magnus' hips. it's too much for magnus to take. he hitches a breath and closes his eyes, his jaw clenching on the low sound of a swallowed moan. alec's other hand comes softly to his cheek and he nearly chokes.

“you're shaking,” alec says and it's then that magnus realizes it wasn't only his hand that was trembling: the whole of him _quakes_ beneath alec.

“you're overwhelming me,” he explains helplessly, waving his free hand between them, dragging his eyes open in time to see alec's face shutter.

“no i don't mean—” magnus starts, desperate, when alec pulls away, one long leg coming over magnus and taking all alec's warmth with. “it's not a _bad_ thing. hey—”

but alec is some unreachable somewhere, getting off the bed despite magnus' clumsy reaches.

“alexander,” magnus pleads, coming to his knees on the bed. “alec. _alec_. angel have mercy,” he swears, thinking a shadowhunter's curse might reach him, “don't _leave_.” his voice cracks like old concrete. “please don't leave.”

alec blinks back from the unreachable somewhere, angling his gaze back towards magnus and catching the anguish on magnus' face.

“magnus, magnus, shit,” he says, swooping to his knees on the bed right in front of magnus so they're thigh-to-thigh, chest-to-chest, and, taking magnus' face again in his hands, forehead-to-forehead. “i'm sorry, i'm not leaving.” he raises his jaw to kiss magnus' forehead and magnus would collapse except for alec's hold on him. “i just thought,” he draws back to wave his hands between them, “space. so you wouldn't be overwhelmed. i thought maybe also a-a shirt. but i can't find it.”

magnus has another moment where collapsing seems the thing to do, but remains upright by force of will. “oh,” he says. and then lets out a breathless, lilting laugh, which makes alec smile, relieved. magnus presses a closed-lip kiss to the corner of alec's open mouth, lingering there with his hands bracing himself on alec's chest until alec's hands come back around his face.

“you're so much; this is so much,” magnus breathes against alec's lips. “i don't think you realize.”

“hey, i'm sorry,” alec soothes, bringing his arms around magnus and drawing his head up to rest his chin on the top of magnus' head. alec's quiet and still, rubbing circles on magnus' back until his breathing calms for the first time since alec arrived. their hearts beat against each other, gentle thumps neither of them should be able to feel.

once assured that magnus is fine again, alec sits back on his haunches, the old shyness taking up residence on the slant of his shoulders. magnus sits also, crossing his legs beneath him. they're no longer touching and it feels terrible, like starving.

“i don't,” alec pauses, looking uncertain, so magnus takes his hand, feels a great relief on both their parts at doing so. “always.” he swallows. “think of us as... _two_ people in a new relationship.”

“no,” magnus responds, chuckling fondly, his thumb rubbing the back of alec's hand, his breath hitching again, just slightly. “you don't.”

alec raises his face to him again. “i'm sorry, magnus, i just – i-i keep thinking that your experience means that this isn't for you like it is for me. and i know that's stupid, i know you've _told me_ that isn't how it is, but magnus, i feel so...brand new all the time.”

“you are a _little_ brand new,” magnus teases. alec makes a face at him and magnus reaches his other hand up to smooth it away. “you just need to remember that i'm brand new when it comes to this, too. you are a first for me as well, just in different ways. i have been in love before, alexander, but one love is not the same as another.”

alec goes still. “love?”

“oh,” magnus says, going stone cold, “shit.”

alec – god and angels and demons and everything inbetween bless him – laughs. it is the sweetest sound out of any in magnus' many centuries.

“it's okay,” alec says, light and sincere. he tightens the grip of his hand on magnus'. “i won't hold you to anything.”

 _you could_ , magnus thinks hopelessly, before he can stop himself.

“i _want_ to make love with you,” he says, after he's taken another moment to recover, hands fidgeting over alec's. “i want to be sure you know that, alec. i want it to a degree that i have rarely – if ever – experienced. it is a bit...too much for me right now. i'm going to need some time with that. are you,” he swallows once. “are you all right with that?”

“yes,” alec answers without hesitation, smiling. he leans in for a gentle, lingering kiss. “yes, i'm all right with that.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> apparently i have a thing for writing these two NOT having sex and idk what's up with that exactly but here we are.
> 
> anywho, feel free to come hang with me [on tumblr](themartyrsthesaintsthesaviors.tumblr.com) if you, too, are overcome by malec on the daily.


End file.
